So here I am in my new predicament. By chance I happened to be visiting my brother who is something of an expert in these matters. He has been married three times but lives alone now. If anyone should know how these things go he would. Anyway I was anxious not to end up confiding with the cat.
After parking up we sat, chatting and drinking coffee in his garden. He would break off at intervals to discuss things with the three cats and a rabbit left behind by his last wife. Oh dear God, I was in real trouble.
He decided to pass on some useful advice he had been given by our mother.
- Don’t get emotionally involved with women.
- If you need their ‘company’ then be prepared to pay for it.
Surely this could not be true! Our sainted mother could not possibly have said this. I would check next time we spoke on the phone. He had even taken advice from a member of the local constabulary as to the financial details.
I didn’t have long to wait for the call and so there was nothing for it but to ask. Had she really recommended this course of action? There was a spluttering at the other end of the line like some one spitting out feathers. Well…good grief, yes the saintly halo had slipped.
I had to confess I was a complete novice in this area. I suggested that as it was her suggestion she should take me along for the first time. Lead me along by hand like my first day at school and wait outside the door while the dirty deed was done.
